I've done it! I finally had the guts to go into the bathers shop and ask for help. Normally, I slink in and try and hide behind the racks of skimpy slivers of lycra and nonchantly look for the larger ladies bathers and slink out again with nothing. Why do they put the bathers for the fuller-figure ladies way at the back of the shop? It's like we have to walk the walk of shame. Why can't they put them midway down the shop to one side so, if you are not a gorgeous 20-something, tanned, size 10, you can slink in inconspicuously.
This horror of buying new bathers is how I ended up in Queensland with a 10 year old tankini with dodgy elastic in one leg.
As my departure to Bundaberg for my 'sea change' is rapidly approaching I thought it was time to get myself a sexy new cossie. This time, I asked for help - a fairly novel concept for me. I must complement the assistant in the Seafolly shop at DFO in Essendon - she really new her stuff. She brought me in about six pair of bathers and all of them fitted, hid some of my problem areas (maybe not all of the muffin top but, hell, she isn't a miracle worker) and looked pretty dam god - even if I say so myself.
I am now the proud owner of two cossies - one tankini and a sexy aqua and white one piece which really highlights my curves. I am now ready for my sea-change.
One downfall that I'd forgotten all about when one wears bathers on a regular basis and that is the whole waxing ordeal. Having grown up in Queensland waxing became a normal part of my beauty routine but I never got used to the excruciating pain. You would think by the time you get to 50 this wouldn't be necessary - that nature would have stepped in to give us a break from unwanted bloody hair. Or perhaps nature thought that by the time you got to 50 you woldn't be wearing bathers. Someone needs to remind 'nature' that 50 is the new 40!
I can't understand why underarm hair, leg hair and bikini line hair never stops growing but, for some reason, over-plucked or waxed eyebrows don't grow back even though I'd welcome full, thick and glamorous eyebrows. Whatever possessed us to pluck our eyebrows so thin in the 70s? Has anybody come up with a 'yeah yeah' solution for eyebrow regrowth?
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