No point looking back

In trying to move forward, can you bring back the past and the things that used to make you happy?

Some things work and some things don't but I think you have to be careful not to expect too much.  Don't set your expectations too high because you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.  A friend of mine, and avid fan of The Sullivans, is revisiting her teens by watching the entire series of The Sullivans only to find that it's not as good as the memories of The Sullivans. 

Perhaps we are best to keep our memories in the background and pull them out from time to time like old photos and think, "those were the days, my friend". 

Something I loved to do as a kid was go to the show and eat dagwood dogs and creamy waffles.  When I revisited this as an adult I was sorely disappointed.  They were greasy and disgusting and I ended up with tomato sauce all over my clothes and felt a bit nauseous so, remember, not all past experiences are going to bring back the euphoria of youth.  Unlike boogie boarding - now that is something worth revisiting.

I recently went snorkelling at Lady Musgrave Island which was something I was keen to do when I moved back to Queensland.  I remembered it as being fantastic but, sadly, I came away a bit disappointed.  In my mind I'd blown it out of all proportion thus setting myself up for disappointment.  Maybe it had to do with the incredibly rough trip out there on the boat where I was only one swell away from throwing up!!  Don't get me wrong, it was nice but nowhere near what I remembered it to be.  As you can see from the photo - it is a beautiful island and the waters of the lagoon cover every shade of blue.  In fact, it is that turquoise blue that I've been looking for in a doona cover.  Obviously, my trip there wasn't wasted.

Even some movies that you remember watching when you were younger sometimes lose their gloss -obviously not "When Harry Met Sally" because that is a classic but many others don't give you that same buzz you once got.

Just like Vintage clothing, some things should be left in the past and looked back on fondly. 

How do I like my eggs?

Am I Julia Roberts in "Runaway Bride"?  I have the freedom to be anybody I want to be but, in the immortal words of Janis Joplin,  "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose".

Twelve months ago, the life I had and was happy with disintegrated and I've been to hell and back and am now in the re-building phase.  As I was talking to my psychologist yesterday (thank God for her or there wouldn't be much re-building happening - there would only be crumbled foundations!) it occurred to me that my life is somewhat of a chiche.  I found myself saying things like, "I am a kinder and more compassionate person now",  "Time helps heal", "Need to find the passion", "Life is too short", etc. etc.  I sounded like a self-help book.

Back to Julia Roberts in "Runaway Bride" ...  I am on a journey to find out how I like my eggs. 

Up to now I've often gone along with my partner's passion and now I need to re-kindle my own likes and interests.  As yet, I've not tried sky-diving or bungee jumping - who knows, that could end up on my list. 

I did go back boogie boarding recently and it was fantastic.  There is boogie-boarding after breast cancer which is good so that is definitely something I will continue to pursue.  My kayak finally hit water so that's another pursuit I shall continue with.  In fact, we are talking about an all-girl's camping and kayaking trip which could be interesting.  I shall keep you informed on how that pans out.  I have a swag so I don't need to pitch a tent but I have a feeling we could end up in luxury cabins by a dam somewhere sipping champagne on the verandah as the sun goes down.  Actually, the latter sounds a little more how I like me eggs...

I am going to be joining a Lions Club which I'm looking forward to getting involved with.  It will be nice to do some fund-raising and helping out in the community.  It's been years since I've done that and it was always something I loved to do when I was in my twenties.  I had so much support from people when I was undergoing treatment that I want to be able to "give something back" and I think this will help me to do that. 

So, things are slowly moving on for me and this next year is all about finding Debra.  I've no doubt there will be some pitfalls along the way but, as the saying goes, "Life is about the journey, not the destination". 

So many sayings and cliches and so little time.